the morning after the Day of the French FRY

I forgot to mention yesterday that the restaurant said "hey, here's a big basket of crispy fries because they are a little slow in the kitchen tonight" (they weren't slow at all, but it was a nice gesture) and then after we inhale all those tasty fries, they bring out my tofu burger and MORE fries and I am like "heck, its my BIRTHDAY for Gawd's sake" and eat all that too. I was thinking that I wouldn't need any cake. You would also think I was sick, but I wasn't, and I came home and had a whopping good night's sleep and DREAMT, if you can believe it, that:
I was going into my last year of high school and I started a new school, all of which is true, and that I had been a bad boy my previous year of school, also true, and that my new teacher in my new school was Jenny McCarthy.
It was my birthday. I am allowed to dream that Jenny McCarthy was my teacher in high school.
The squirrels on the Cornell campus are wicked tame, and yesterday this guy hops up to me with a "whaddya got?" look on his face, and I ask the missus for a cashew, BUT she doesn't wanna share her cashews and gives me this carrot and the little guy SNIFFS and goes looking for a trash can.