"I want to wrap you in leather..."

I am glazing pots and the wife walks the beagle early and checks in with me:
"Stephanie and John are having a garage sale today. 9-2"
"Oh?" sez I, (hating shopping of course)
and she is like "I need hooks for the kitchen" which she might as well have said in FRENCH because I have no idea what she means.

Stephanie and John being friends of ours in the yellow house across the river, who own Penny the beagle's SWORN ENEMY: Ava the greyhound.

So I finish glazing the pots and set out at 9:10 with Buster our big lab. And we go by the yellow house, no sign of Ava, but Stephanie and her mom and the little baby are out front.
I take a dutiful look around. A dollar for this, a dollar for that....and see the 3 leather jackets hanging there.
John isn't around, but he is one of these handsome BAD AZZ type dudes. With 7 motorcycles and 7 tatoos. The baby snugli he wears has skulls on it. John is cool. AND SO ARE HIS FORMER JACKETS. I never knew how badly I needed a motorcycle jacket until this morning. And the fit on one is PERFECT. PERFECTO. It is a new jacket too.

I wander off, but its eating me up, and I walk by later with Penny, who barks bloody murder because Ava the greyhound is in the driveway. We move on.
I call the wife "John is selling a kick azz biker jacket. Brand new. Fits GREAT" and she is like
"early Christmas present???? Should we get some azzless chaps to match????" because my wife is fun that way.......

I email my buddy Kasey
"Kasey, what SHOULD I DO????" and she is like
"Bargain for it, but you have GOT TO GET THAT JACKET. And get some pictures for us"

I can't take it anymore. Its eating me up. The jacket isn't a dollar, but I scrape together my pennies and walk Penny over there.

Stephanie is like
"wow, back again!" and her mom is like
"third time. Let me hold your dog"
and I try it on again and Stephanie is like
"mom, take Gary in to use the big mirror" and we go in and the fit is !!!!! Although it is a warm jacket and I am roasting.
I say "I'll think about it and maybe see you Saturday. No wait. I am gonna walk the dog and come back in 15 minutes"
And so me and the beagle walk and I am dying for the jacket.
We return and I try it on again.
Stephanie's mom is like
"That jacket is perfect with your hair. You have GREAT HAIR. Let me hold your dog for you"
I don't know, but could guess Stephanie's mom was once a used car salesman, but I am thoroughly charmed by this cute elderly woman giving me little flirtatious comments.

So I count out the singles, and the pennies and the pocket lint grab the jacket and wander home and grab the camera. Sort of like the Macy's spread in the newspaper on Sunday, don't you think?????

SO, as Steve Tyler of Aerosmith once sang
"Pink is my favorite color.
Pink, I wanna wrap you in leather....."