Sunday, March 22, 2009
DIE YUPPIE SCUM!
(Rude Gnome sugar bowl by Gary Rith)
Dear Mister brand New Blue BMW Convertible--
I wondered why you were driving past my house in the wind and snow with your window open. Then you flicked your burning cigarette out your window into the road. I have dozens of butts in my front yard. I really don't care if you smoke, but as the public swimming pool sign says: 'I don't swim in your toilet so don't pee in our pool'. I don't stand in front of your stinking McMansion and flick trash into your yard, so why are you flicking trash into mine? Let's just say that I've got some dog turds with your name on them buddy.
and while I am at it
Dear Canadian Geese Behind my House--
I am so happy that you are living on the river bank behind my house. You are a totally cute couple, and I like how you enjoy each other's company and eat your meals together and swim around together. You look blissful and happy.
But, you know, you seem to be gettin' it on in broad daylight, like, pretty frequently and vigorously. Could you, you know, for the sake of my young and impressionable beagle's eyes, well, I know, she's DONE it too and had puppies, but I was sorta wishing you'd wait until maybe after dark to procreate??????
Thanks, love ya, Gary
Posted by Gary's third pottery blog at 6:06 PM