Wednesday, June 17, 2009

I have never had a vodka martini before and this restaurant is going out of business for a good reason.









I have very little experience with fancy restaurants, but lets just say I hate haute cuisine. I hate haute culture period! A big dinner out is (as you know) happy hour cheap beers and free popcorn at the dirty and ratty Chapter House. (plus, of course, I am a veg no-dairy, and how many menus are veg, no dairy???)
OK, other topic--neighborhood restaurants. ABC cafe is going out of business this month, and I love ABC (its next to the Chapter House!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) and another neighborhood joint, Willow, is going out of business, and in theory, this is terrible, a sign of bad economic times.
Let me explain. I had never been to Willow before, but it was next to my favorite independent cinema which decided to merge with a different cinema elsewhere, and within a MONTH Willow restauant is closing. Guess the cinema next door is good for business, but gone now.
I love my customers, and some of them love me, maybe they all do? I was given a very expensive gift cetificate by a customer for us go to Willow and we were gonna go July 4. This gift cetificate was worth about 12 visits to the Chapter House for beers and popcorn.
I was looking at the menu for Willow today, and the place is flippin' going out of business TOMORROW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am busy today and tomorrow, and the missus tells me they won't give me cash value, so off we go at 5 pm for dinner at Willow, busy or not.
We walk in--there are 2 people eating. They ask if we have a reservation, I am like NO. They say come back at 8:30, come back tomorow, and I am like FLIPPING NO WAY ARE GONNA EAT NOW and we have this coupon and I want cash if you don't feed us. The lady sez she has to ask the manager.
After several minutes of discussion, she sez, well, we can seat you here between the door and the kitchen (the stinking place is EMPTY????????????????) and we sit. I know the place is famous for martinis, and since I have somebody's gift cert, I am gonna have a vodka matini, and the lady sez on ice or not and I have the first on ice, and figure I will never have one of those again (kinda yucky). We oder, and its like, 22 bucks for plain toast, and I am telling the wife THERE IS A REASON THIS PLACE IS GOING OUT OF BUSINESS but I don't care so much, because even if I don't like a vodka martini, it has a certain numbing effect.
Our wee little dishes of 22 dollar food arrive and I order a vodka martini WITHOUT ice this time, and its a whole lot better I'll tell ya. The food is OK although pretty darn tiny servings (you can have all the free popcorn you want at the Chapter House, btw)
and so the check arrives and can you believe that 2 drinks and 2 dinners and we went 13 bucks over my huge gift certificate (which I was very glad to have, sure glad I didn't have to pay any more) and I feel sorry for the people who worked there, but man, that place SUCKED rotten eggs....

21 comments:

Becky Jo said...

I feel your pain. We don't visit very many fancy places because the sad, sad disappointment that follows directly after. If I wanted yarky food, I'm sure I could make it at home. I came here for 'fancy food'.
I'm sorry your martini sucked. I think they usually do. Bleh.

Next time (if there is a next time) ask the manager for free popcorn, and when he says they don't have any, get up and leave. :)

Gary said...

Two vodka martinis and I'll spend 22 bucks on a sniff of food (or anything you tell me to give you money for).

I go on a lake cruise with 10 men every summer (4 days). Well, I began making martinis at 4:00 pm a few years back and there are gentlemen who are known to be in deep naps by 6:00.

Becky Jo said...

I'm sorry. That's not my kind of adult beverage. Passing out after two hours makes all the fun go away.

Although it's still vodka... vanilla screwdrivers for everyone! THOSE are tasty. :)

HP said...

Holy crap! I am laughing my ass off...........I think you've tipped back a littl eto much Grey Goose or soemthing. TOO FUNNY! :)

Becky Jo said...

Is that Tofurky you're eating? :)

kate et Jim said...

Ah - just give me a plain ol' Absolut with seltzer and maybe a wedge of lime, if I'm feeling fruity! lol

Janet said...

mmmm, i love a good xxx dirty martini w/grey goose!

David Makar said...

I have never seen a martini with ice. I can't believe that is something they offer! Well - they won't be offering it any more!

Amy said...

gosh..... what an experience. the header to your blog just made me laugh!

Captain Awesome said...

Sorry to hear about this. That's too bad.

I always want to drink martinis as they seem SOOO fancy. The first one I tried convinced me they were not for me.

I'm a rum drinking gal or boxed wine.

Emily SIL said...

Too bad, but at least you got to use up the gift certificate. I hate it when I go into a restaurant the place is a rip-off. And your place was supposedly "haute cuisine" on top of it. NYC is not short of expensive restaurants, but at least there is usually something in exchange for it.

fiwa said...

What a crock! Sounds like the bad service helped run them down the drain. However, anytime you don't want your martini, you just pass it right on over to me. Also, it helps to add the olive juice and make it dirty.

love!
fiwa

TheColorTree said...

Sorry you had a bad dinner experience, Gary. At least the martinis will give you some strong, healthy kohones....

Linda Starr said...

Yes, the olive is the best part, and your expressions.

Gary Rith Pottery Blog said...

Oh, it wasn't a bad experience, it was a good blogging opportunity!

jimgottuso said...

maybe it's my inner glutton but i've always hated nouvelle portions... so i feel your pain. of course the most bizarre thing to me is they're going to close the next day and there's only 2 people in the place and they need to call the manager to allow you a seat without a reservation. at what point would they drop the putting on airs routine?

Gary Rith Pottery Blog said...

I mean HULLO? There is nobody here!
I got home and needed a snack, I was still hungry!!!!

Cloudbuster said...

Damn, Gary. Don't hold back! tell us what you really think ;-)

Kimberly said...

Bad economic times is very true. There is a 96 year old man who has a strawberry field that we pick at every season.

Last season, people took his picked strawberries and left nothing in the locked cashbox at his stand. They are doing it again this year.

I felt very bad for him. He looked very tired bc he had fallen yesterday when I stopped by to say "Hello".

Bad economic times and mean people.
It sucks.

Prohomemaker.Com said...

The olives always sink a martini for me -- love 'em with a twist.

Kari said...

Go for the Gin and Tonic next time! I've only been to Willow once, I remember spending an ass-load (that's a technical term) of money, but the fillet mignon was pretty tasty (not that that helps you!)