3 little pigs and saucers

(cups and saucers by Gary Rith)

(disclaimer number one--this joke may not be suitable for little ears
disclaimer number 2--I have northern Irish protestant and Irish Catholic in me both, so please don't think I am trying to insult the Irish....well, the joke is simply funny...)

Paddy and the Pigs

Paddy and Paddy, two Irishmen, went out one day and each bought a pig.

When they got home, Paddy turned to Paddy and said, "Paddy, me ol' mate, how we gonna tell who owns which fookin pig?"

Paddy says "Well Paddy, I'll cut one a ta' ears off my fookin pig, and ten we can tell 'em apart"

"Ah tat'd be grand" says Paddy.

This worked fine until a couple of weeks later when Paddy stormed into the house.

"Paddy" he said "Your fookin pig has chewed the ear offa my fookin pig. Now we got two fookin pigs with on one ear each. How we gonna tell who owns which fookin pig?"

"Well Paddy" said Paddy "I'll cut ta other ear off my fookin pig. Ten we'll av two fookin pigs and only one of them will avan ear"

"Ah tat'd be grand" says Paddy.

Again this worked fine until a couple of weeks later when Paddy again stormed into the house.

"Paddy" he said "Your fookin pig has chewed the other ear offa my fookin pig. Now we got two fookin pigs with no fookin ears!"

"How we gonna tell who owns which fookin pig?"

"Ah tis is serious, Paddy" said Paddy "I'll tell ya what I'll do. I'll cut ta tail offa my fookin pig, ten we'll av two fookin pigs with no fookin ears and only one fookin tail."

"Ah tat'd be grand" says Paddy.

Another couple of weeks went by, and you guessed it, Paddy stormed into the house once more.

"PADDY!" shouted Paddy "YOUR FOOKIN PIG HAS CHEWED THE FOOKIN TAIL OFFA MY FOOKIN PIG AND NOW WE GOT TOW FOOKIN PIGS WITH NO FOOKIN EARS AND NO FOOKIN TAILS !! HOW THE FOOK ARE WE EVER GONNA FOOKIN TELL 'EM APART?!"

"Ah fook it!" says Paddy "How's about you have the black one, and I'll have the white one."